Am I A Christian?

  Am I A Christian?

    Many of us are familiar with  questions like," Have you been saved or Are you a born again Christian? or have you received Christ as your Savior or something to that effect. Probably someone asked you  such question that drove you to accept Christ and join a church. The excitement of getting saved could have even propelled you to ask your friends, associates and even bystanders a similar question in order to win him or her for Christ. 

As a new born Christian, you were so  to share the Good News with others. Meanwhile, you would gained a church family,  signed up for Bible studies and volunteer work at Soup kitchen or some charity organization. With an ardent desire to serve God, you kept yourself busy with church activities whenever possible. You felt so good as being recognized in the eyes of those  around you for serving God so well by tithing your time and money for God.

As you and I got busier and busier working for God, our time with God may have slowly dwindled even without us realizing it. We  might have read through the entire Bible a couple of times by now and even started teaching at Bible studies and having a great fellowship with our church family. What about our fellowship with God? Probably, in our times of need and troubles, we might seek Him and give Him the priority. Otherwise, we may have kept Him on the SOS basis.

Like Martha of Bethany, we have become too busy wasting the time to entertain the Lord by worrying over whether the food she prepared for her guests had turned out well and tasty, the house was swept clean and tidy and the house is kept quiet and comfortable for guests to relax. Without much help from Mary and no electrical appliances to ease her workload, it wasn't that easy for her. Yet, as an excellent hostess, she wanted to do everything right and proper. Seeing her stressed out and getting annoyed with Mary, we would have rushed into the kitchen to give her a helping hand and even patted her back and complimented her for her hardwork and hospitality. But we find that Jesus chose to compliment Mary rather than Martha, who toiled over His visit. For in Luke 10:41 He says, "Martha Martha you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed and Mary had chosen that good part." I wonder how many of us would have chosen to sit with Mary and listened to the Lord. 

What do you think Jesus would be telling us today? " Oh, my children, just come and  sit with me.  Spend some time with  me to really know me so that you'll come to know what I want you to do. Instead of doing that, you are running around and planning things that you think would please me. Do not sweat over minor matters like the size of auditorium you are building or the size of your congregation or the competency of your music team or the outreach programs you try to do on my behalf. Those may look  essentials but I want you to know me first. "  Don't you think our Lord would say something like that to us or would He applaud us for sweating over programs, building projects and worship methods?

In our day and age, when we are expected to perform well and succeed, sitting still is considered to be unproductive. It does not seem to yield any benefit in human view. But, " Be still and know that I am God, " says the One whose view is far higher and deeper than our point of view.

Just carrying the label "Christians" do not truly make us Christians. We should be Christ like in our attitude and behavior. 2000 years ago, the name 'Christians' was given to Christ's followers in Antioch because they displayed Christ like character and attitude towards others. Such nature and way of life differentiated them from the rest of the people in the area to earn the name, "Christians." 

    Today, can we honestly say likewise about us? Yes, we do have our beliefs, we standby firmly and adamantly on certain issues, we drive around with " Jesus loves you" stickers glaring from our cars rear windows.We wouldn't  miss attending church on Sundays or Bible studies on a week day. Never slacked in our offerings or tithihngs. We encourage our youths to go on mission trips and support missionaries and even sponsor or foster needy children. We try to do everything right and proper according to scriptural understanding. But do all these qualify us to be Christians? Do others, especially non-Christians see us Christ like in our neighborhood, workplace or in the world at large? Do our lives speak louder than our mouths declare? If so, we can put our heads up and proudly call us as 'Christians." 

"Am I A Christian?" was the title of my poem that got published in two Canadian Christian magazines twenty years ago. I was getting into writing at that time and it was my first ever publication. When I completed my eighteen-month correspondence writing course, my instructor at the writer's institute encouraged me to continue writing and to submit my writings, even some of the assignments I did for the course to publications. In order to submit any of my articles, I needed to send a query letter first and  depending on the editor's response only, I could submit my work. That takes time. So, I chose to send the three  poems in hand  to 3-4 Christian magazines simultaneously. They were simple free verse poems which I wrote down on my notebook when I was stricken with chickenpox several months earlier. Being a newbie, I had no expectation of hearing from any of the editors when I mailed the  neatly printed poems inside the large yellow manila envelopes. E-mail submissions were not much in use at that time. 

Three weeks later, when I went to check my mail, I couldn't believe what greeted me in the mailbox. I got acceptance letters for my poem, " Am I A Christian?"  from two publications. That was like winning a lottery for me. Getting acceptance letters from two editors on my first ever submission was no small thing for a wanna- be- writer like me. Getting published in two magazines with my byline motivated me to sign up for the Christian Writers' conference that summer. Haven't met or acquainted with any writer before, I wanted to find out how they looklike. So, I took the the four-hour Grayhound bus trip to attend the conference in the next province in Alberta, Canada.The payment I received from the two publications was sufficient to pay for my bus ticket.

The excitement I had when I hopped into the bus that morning started to turn into nervousness as the bus got nearer to my destination. What if I get a cold welcome at the conference being someone new to the field? What if I'm ignored and overlooked through out the two-day conference? My fear and anxiety vanished as soon as I was met with broad smiles and warm hugs by the two greeters at the entrance of the Convention Centre. On entering the foyer, I was in for a further surprise. On the display table, among the variety of magazines layed out, I found the current issue of one of the magazine in which my poem "Am I A Christian?" was published. As I hurried to pick up the magazine and flip through the pages to find my poem, a few ladies standing nearby peeked over my shoulders to find out what was arousing my excitement. Not wanting to lose a chance to brag, I  proudly showed  off my poem and my byline to them. That was enough to break the ice and get them acquainted  easily. 

Enthused by the recognization and appreciations I received there, I walked up to the next table and signed up my name for the poetry reading session that evening. Only after signing up did I realize my mistake. Little did I realize at the time that the poetry session titled Peanut Butter and Jam was meant for a light,funny and laughter provoking readings rather than for devotional like or thought provoking ones like I had in my hand. Only when I sat down at the packed auditorium and listened to others reading their poems,did I realize what a blunder I had made.  It was too late for me to withdraw or to exit from the packed auditorium without being noticed. Left with no option, I dragged myself towards the podium    and read out the three poems of mine  when my name was called out.

The next morning, when I heard Linda Hall, a well known Canadian author and the guest speaker for the morning session, mentioned on the stage about my poem Am I A Christian? and said how she was inspired by it, I felt as if I was in a trance. For a beginner like me to hear such compliment publicly from an author like Linda Hall  was beyond any expectation. She need not have bothered to take a few moments out of her speaking time to compliment an unheard writer like me. But she did. It surely reflected something great about her character than her writing skills. 

There is no doubt, Hall would have forgotten all about it no sooner she got down from the stage that morning. But I couldn't. It's still fresh in my mind to write about it even though it happened exactly 21 years ago. Yes, it was at the 2000 Christian Writers Conference in Edmonton Alberta, Canada. This experience at the conference energized and equipped me to become the devotional columnist for the quarterly newsletter published  by Inscribe Writers Fellowship which organized the Writers Conference I attended as an unknown writer. It is not my intention here to brag about how well my poem got accepted and appreciated by two magazines and a well known author or how quickly I gained access into the writers' community to become their devotional columnist and a freelance writer for the Sunday column in the city's newspaper. Not at all. I'm just trying to relate how simple kind acts of some help another person to grow and expand in the vision God has for them. The warmth of the greeters at the entrance to put me at ease, the humbleness of Linda Hall to publicly compliment someone she had not met or heard before. Also, I forgot to mention that I  was gladdened to see my earlier pastor's wife Deb at the conference. Having a familiar face there surely relaxed my nerves. Deb could have easily given me a smile and could have disappeared in the group. After all, I had moved to another province and no longer attend her church. But she didn't do that. Instead she chose to invite me to come and sit   with her in her circle of writers who were into writing books and feature articles for magazines. No sooner I sat down, the person who sat across me asked,"So, where are you from?" Surely, she didn't meant to be rude or with any wrong intention. Looking so different from the rest of the group and brown skinned,she was curous to know my whereabouts. Having immigrated to Canada ten years back, I was used to hearing such questions. But what Deb did in response was so commendable that distiquished her from the rest of the group. Even before I opened my mouth to answer the woman's question. Deb who sat next to me put her arm around me and answered her instead. "Oh, Sulo is one of  us. she is from here."  You couldn't imagine what her words to me at that time. It was as if I was inducted into a soriority group. It was exactly how I felt. And Deb's answer put a stop to anymore questions regarding my origin.

On my trip back home from the conference, I was mulling over all what happened at the conference. As I was thinking about it, a thought crossed my mind. What was so special about this poem "Am I Christian?" for two publications to accept it at once, a well known author to get inspired and commend on it and for some attendees at the conference to even ask my autograph on their photocopied sheet of my poem from the magazine? 

After all, it's a simple free versed poem anyone could have written. What made it different from the other poems I submitted? First of all, what made me to write such a poem like that? I remember of writing that poem when I was down with Chickenpox? Could it be the virus that convoluted my  normal thinking?  Probably, the time I had in hand unable to attend to anything else, but to ponder. A perfect time for me to examine myself. The thoughts and events that may have occured some time earlier must have swept through my mind to  prick my conscience to pen a poem like that in my notebook. My prejudice and self-righteous attitude towards people with different beliefs, values and status may have enabled me to see what others couldn't see.  I may have volunteered at the Soup Kitchen, given charity to the needy and even sponsored one or two children from faraway countries. But, do I even attempt to befriend or make eye contact with someone begging at the street corner? No, never. Here, I'm calling myself a Christian and singing praises and Halelujahs at church but when I come away from the church grounds, my Christian cloak and masks somehow slip away.  Is it not laughable to call myself proudly a Christian but act unChristlike otherwise? 

In the Gospels, we come across Jesus confront and come against one particular group again and again. It weren't tax collectors who were considered sinners by the society at that time or the woman caught and brought for the act of adultery. Instead, it was the group of Pharasees and scribes who portrayed themselves to others as super religious by studying the scriptures from morn till night, tithing rightly and punctually, honoring Sabbath at any cost but lacking to show compassion or justice towards the sick, poor and destitutes. By pretention, Pharasees and scribes could easily fake the society and gain honorable seats at the Temple feasts and other places. But Jesus who could see through them was quick enough to point out their hypocrisy whenever possible.

. Before I go further, let me allow you to read my poem Am I A Christian? and send a minute or two to question yourself. 

            Am I A Christian?

    Lord, I love to sing Your praises,

But I don't live a life that reflects You.

    I love to pray for wisdom

But I don't like to spend time reading the Bible

    I like to pray for the needy

But I don't want to call them my friends

    I like to pray for the homeless

But I don't want to share my house with them

    I like to pray for the street kids

But I don't like to see them around my children.

    I want to pray for the aged

But I don't like to spend time with them

     I love to pray for the missions

But   I don't want to be in the mission field

      I love to work for You in public

But I've no time to talk to You in private

           Am I A Christian, Lord?   

A simple poem like this with such a question must have pricked the conscience of those who chose to publish the poem, the guest speaker at the writers conference who chose to commend on the poem amidst her talk and the pin drop silence heard at the auditorium which was blaring with laughter only a minutes earlier. Those Christian writers  gathered at the conference  too must have got hit by the poem to do some self-examination. 

Please do not think that I'm trying to brag about my poem or to convict you in any way. Not at all. As a fellow traveler in the Christian walk with you, I'm trying to tell how vital is  for each of us to examine ourselves as a Christian. 

    Are we really in Christ as apostle Paul urged us to be? Can others, our neighbors, co-workers, grocery store employees, telemarketers, customer service workers whom we cross paths on a daily or weekly basis. Could they see us as Christians who respect them irrespective of their status, race and beliefs.  Or do they see us as a bunch of stiff necked Bible thumping arrogant people who show no compassion or fairness to those outside the Christian community. Isn't this group, Jesus talked about when He said, "Not everyone who says to me ,"Lord, Lord will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in 

We may say, well, we do go to church regularly,  teach Bible studies we don't drink, smoke or do drugs. Do not  engage in sex before marriage or cheat on our spouses. In a survey done on non-Christians and on youths from all faiths including Christians, when asked what they think of Christians, they came out with answers like, self-righteous, judgmental, fake, condescending.

Do we see us like that? I doubt it. We see us as loving, friendly, smiling and hugging and helpful people. But if the world see us otherwise, we need to recognize and rectify the problem to reach them for Christ.