Writing From the Heart

Being a late bloomer, I got into writing quite late in life. Yes, it was in my fifties, I got into writing. I should say that I stumbled into writing rather than jumped into it with both my feet.

My dear husband , not wanting to be a guinea pig for my creative cooking any longer suggested me to write a cookbook instead. I didn't take that seriously until I came across an advertisement on a magazine for a writing correspondence course.

Following that course might help me learn to write the cookbook, I thought and shared the idea of enrolling for the course with my husband. He was too happy to support me on the venture provided that I would not drop out half way. When he agreed to pay for the course, I wasted no time in registering for the course. Little did I know that the course I had enrolled in was meant for children's book writing and not for the writing I had in my mind. Having no option, but to stay put and finish my 18 month's course, I chose to stay on and finish the course as I had promised my husband.

E-mail submission was still in the gestation period at that time and as such I had to type out my assignments and mail them within the large yellow manilla envelopes. Only an year earlier I had learned to type and got used to work on my desktop computer. Writing out my first assignment did not come easy for me. So I did something that I've never dared to do before. To get a good first impression from my instructor, I begged my teenage daughter to write out the first assignment for me.

Yes, I did cheat on my first assignment and as expected my instructor was very much impressed by my work. But I wasn't pleased to see my high scores or her compliments on the sheet of my graded paper. My guilty conscience didn't allow me to rejoice over my cheated work. Then and there, I determined to never to indulge again in such a degrading manner. Not only had I stooped too low to cheat, but had displayed a terrible example to my teenage daughter, who gave me that questioning look and showed reluctance to do what I asked her to do. So, determined never again to cheat in any assignment or in life, I got ready to write my next assignment on my own irrespective of the outcome.

Journaling was encouraged for us to do at the beginning of the course. The term journaling sounded foreign to me as I had never done that before. During my school years, i had written diaries but not journaling. Didn't have a clue what to write or how to write. Write about something you love to do like hobbies, sports, travel, told our instructor.

Mmm... what do I love to do, other than watching tv and going to movies? Hobbies?-I had none; sports?-Not interested. Travel? Yes, I've traveled across the world from East to West But I didn't want to write about the reason my family and I had to escape from the ethnic violence in my native country to find a better and peaceful country to live. I didn't want to get back into memories which I was trying to forget. So, that too was out.

Anyway, I went and bought a spiral note book and started to write my first journal. Somehow I managed to write half a page on something and put down my pen and happily stretched myself with the glee of writing my first journal. But when I read out, what I had written, it tasted like the gritty saw dust in my mouth-so dry and brittle. Without giving a second thought, I tore up the page from the notebook, crunched it hard as I could and threw it into the nearest dustbin. So, went three to four pages from my notebook into the dustbin for the next few days.

And from somewhere a new thought came that energized me to enjoy my process of journaling.

You need to wait to read about it in my next post. Until then, look around and enjoy the world and people around you!